WILD,WET,PASSIONATE LOVE

Wild, Wet, Passionate Love

Ada woke up with a start, as if she had been chased around in her dream. She took in the unfamiliarity of her surroundings, the whitewashed walls and the rusty tripartite blades of the ceiling fan. She looked again for a familiar object and saw her phone. On it was eight (8) missed calls and a frantic message from her beloved husband. She looked at her phone like she was in a trance. The stark reality of what she had done hit her fiercely even as her heart gave a hammer-like thud. The tears began rolling. Here she was, in the bed of a man she had met less than three months ago while in another room, another bed sat another man, Tayo her husband of five(5) years who had been sick with worry, waiting for her.

But why? She cried. Why had she done this horrible, horrible thing? Tayo was a good man and he loved her dearly. He didn’t deserve this. He had stood with her through thick and thin. Right from when his mother had looked at her with thinly veiled disgust and slowly elucidated that her son will never marry “omo ibo”, Tayo had stood his ground and in a very polite way, told dear mama to shove it. He had been her rock four years and three miscarriages later when she would cry and cry about how unfair the world was. He would hold her head against his shoulders and comfort her, the anguish in his voice clearly audible as he also could not understand why this misfortune was happening to them.

It was therefore mixed feelings of hope and dread she had felt when she told Tayo of her two week old pregnancy. They had agreed to keep the news a secret to themselves. But like a sweet smelling soup, pregnancy does not hide itself and before she could say “Jack Robinson”, she was bringing forth Damilola Chinedu Johnson into the world. He was a healthy baby with big, puzzled eyes and mighty lungs. Tayo had been ecstatic. He had thrown a big naming ceremony which overcompensated for the baby shower they had mutually agreed not to have. They had been so happy. Those were one of the best moments of her life, moments which would forever put a smile on her face.

She recalled those moments now as more tears welled up in her eyes. Damilola, her precious beautiful baby had come with his own fair share of challenges. She had had a very stressful pregnancy and had moved from size 10 to size 18. She had tried it all to lose weight; diet, slimming pills, waist trainers et al but like a dead weight, the kilos had refused to melt off. Baby D, as she fondly called Damilola, would also not let her sleep. At 3 0’clock every morning, his cries would begin. He would fuss so much and would not sleep until she fed him and played with him. When he was satisfied, he would smile at her and sleep off. She would smile back and sigh deeply because now, she had to take care of her husband and there was no way she was getting any sleep that morning. She felt disillusioned, unkempt and undesirable. Even when Tayo tried to be amorous, she rebuffed him. She knew he pitied her and she did not want to be pitied. She wanted desire; she craved passion. She desired wild, wet, passionate love.

And then, in came Terry, her gym instructor. When she first met him, she had so detested him. He would yell and shout at her while giving instructions. Once he told her that she was too lazy and that was why she was still fat. That day, she had walked out of the gym and vowed never to come back. However, two days later along with an apology text from him, she had gone back to the gym with a firm determination to never let him get under her skin. He looked deeply into her eyes and apologized once more. For Ada, it wasn’t so much the apology he said but the look in his eyes as he said it. She had seen something in his eyes which she had stopped seeing in her husband’s eyes; something she had been so used to seeing that she had so taken it for granted. Something she so longed for in her life right now. She had seen passion and desire in his eyes and like a moth to flame, she was drawn towards that look.

So when she signed up for extra gym classes, she did not know if she did it because she wanted to get fit or because she wanted to keep seeing that look. When she got a nanny for Baby D, she did not know if she did it because she wanted to have time to do other things or because she wanted to see Terry’s face again and again. But when Tayo had looked at her quite fit body and smiled appreciatively, she knew then with deep conviction that she didn’t want his look, she wanted Terry’s.  She knew she should stop. She loved her husband and valued her marriage. She knew she was playing with fire. But danger kept calling her and she kept moving towards it. And so she continued. And the classes became more frequent. And she stopped using her car because Terry was always there to walk her home. And when he asked why, she told her husband that walking was a great form of exercise. But what she did not tell him was that she drawn to her walking companion.

Then one day, Terry kissed her…passionately. She pushed him away and ran with tears in her eyes. She was so devastated because it was so beautiful yet so forbidden. He sent her a message later apologizing to her and telling her how he had fallen deeply for her. How he was relocating to another state because he could not bear to see her with someone else. So she had gone to his house to see him one last time. To tell him goodbye personally. To ingrain his face in her consciousness. As their eyes met, all the long held emotions just poured out and before she knew it, they were making wild, wet passionate love…again, again and again.

And now, the morning after, here she was. Unfamiliar surroundings, a frantic husband at home, sore wetness between her legs and a short, terse note from Terry. He was gone. He had a 6a.m flight and did not want to wake her. His lease on the apartment had expired so she should leave the key under the doormat when she was leaving so the landlord would see it when he came. He really enjoyed his time with her and would try to keep in touch via face book. And that was all. He was gone…just like that. She stared at the letter again and as if on cue, the tears came flooding down once more.

STRINGS FROM MY HEART

Hi everyone,

So here I am again, pouring out my heart to you . I wrote a poem about love. I have to warn you though, I have minimal experience in this area, so everything I have written here are just opinions coming from  limited experience. It may not be exactly accurate or explicit. So for us who have truly experienced true love, I would love to read about your experience in the comments section.  Alright…here we go.

  • What is love?

Is it a feeling? Is it a choice?

Do you have control over it? Is there a balance of power?

Can you keep your heart in check when it greatly cries out for something?

Can you fill that void with something else?

What is love?

Is it that deep , intense emotion which tears your heart apart when you don’t hear from Him?

Or is it that intense feeling of joy you get when you finally talk to her?

Is it that feeling of completeness you have when you are with him?

When it seems like with her, you can do anything.

 –

Is love that hollow feeling you have when you don’t feel His presence?

Is it that heavy heart you have when it seems like  he has drifted?

Or is it that acute feeling of relief you get when she finally calls your name?

Is it the peace you have when she is with you?

What is love?

It has been spoken about, sung about, written about

Man’s greatest need; His greatest hunger

Man’s greatest gift yet his greatest weakness

Nothing physical, yet its absence is total emptiness.

It can never be adequately described

Can never be sufficiently expressed

It can only be experienced

And when you do, you will know

What is love?

Love is vulnerability; Love is pain

Love is sacrifice; giving up of yourself

Love is indescribable; Love is unreasonable

Love is irrational yet so pure

What is love?

Love is where there seem to be better options,

There seem to be other alternatives,

Plenty of reasons why you should leave,

But like a leech, you are stuck on this one.

Love is trust; Love is believing

Love is being vulnerable even at the risk of a broken heart

Love is acceptance even before repentance

Love is kindness even when hurt

Love is leaving all you have in search of one.

Love is inexhaustible; Its the greatest power in the world

An oasis of peace for all mankind

And what joy! How happy is the one

Who truly rests in the bosom of true love.

Continue reading “STRINGS FROM MY HEART”